Kind of a Funny Story (But Not Really)
by un1corn
Summary: One-shot. "Shit happens. It's a universal rule." In which Dominique is a teenager and does what teenager do best: a lot of mistakes in the name of love. Or jealousy. Or anger. Actually, her emotions are all over the place. (Dominique W., Scorpius M./Rose W., Scorpius M./OC)


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor am I J.K. Rowling.

A/N: Written for the Super-sticky Laughing Stickers tester of the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes Challenge; a tester that backfires enormously. Enjoy!

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**Kind of a Funny Story (But Not Really)**

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Shit happens. It's a universal rule. Call it karma, coincidence, plain ol' bad luck – somehow things always have a way of ending up exactly how you never wanted them to end up. That sucks. But you know, _c'est la vie_. In the end, there's really nothing you can do about it. You just have to lean back and accept that life can kick you in the balls (or ovaries) whenever it damn well pleases.

At least that was what Dominique Weasley kept telling herself. Didn't really make her feel better, but it was better than Victoire's pitying looks or her dad's well-intended but nonetheless completely stupid advice. Her dad really wasn't good when it came to girls problems – and if you asked Louis, neither was he with boys. Deep down, she kind of hoped some stray werewolf (or wereanything, because right now, she wasn't really picky) had bitten her instead of what actually happened, but fate wasn't known for making deals and you couldn't just turn back time to change the busload of shit that had happened and –

"Wait!"

The thought had come so quickly and violently that it couldn't be stopped by mere lips. Dominique sat up straight on her bed, looking at herself in the myriad of tiny mirrors that served as her bed curtains. What could you say, Vanity actually _was_ her second name. Bits and pieces of wide blue eyes and strawberry blond hair were reflected back at her and seriously, how come a girl like her didn't have a boyfriend?!

Oh yes, maybe because she ruined the life of the only boy she'd ever been interested in. Alongside of the life of his girlfriend. And her on life. And probably someone else's life, at the rate she'd been going she wouldn't be surprised.

Somehow, "shit happens" just wasn't enough to summarize the gravity of the situation anymore.

* * *

Looking back, the whole situation really was just _partly_ her fault. Sure, if she'd never opened her mouth, it wouldn't have ended quite as messy as it did, but it would have ended. Rose's and Scorpius' relationship that is.

She'd been hurrying to her Potions class, already having missed Transfiguration and Charms for the third time this week, when she literally ran into them.

"Shit, shit, shit," Dominique cursed without looking up from the mess of parchments, books and sandwiches she always sneaked into class. "I'm so sorry, but could you just land me a hand here? Professor Weasley is going to kill me!"

"Dom, Professor Weasley is your mum," a familiar and immensely nervous sounding voice cut through her ramblings.

Dominique blinked owlishly at Scorpius. "And your point is … ?"

He opened his mouth to answer her, but she wasn't really listening anymore. She was too focused on processing the scene before her. Scorpius Malfoy and Ellie (or was it Abby?) What's-her-face. Scorpius Malfoy with smudged pink lipstick all over his face, while What's-her-face hastily tried to fix her own pink lipstick. Scorpius Malfoy looking like he'd just won the title of world champion in the category "extremely passionate snogging with a girl that's definitely not your girlfriend."

_Sweet Merlin_, she thought, clamping her hands over her mouth to make sure she didn't say it out loud, _if you had to cheat on Rose why not with me?_

So to be honest, Scorpius was the villain and not Dominique. At least, at first he'd been the only one to blame. Then she'd made herself his second in command. Accidentally.

She was just so _angry_. Red hot fury pulsing through her, mixing with jealousy that clawed at her heart and he was still looking at her with that easy smile on his face, eyes betraying him, begging her not to say anything, not to –

Oh, she'll show him! She'll show everyone!

* * *

"You can't tell anyone, damn, it's bad enough you told me!" Albus hissed at her, while dragging her further away from the other students.

It had been a day since she'd caught Scorpius cheating on Rose. Apparently the mysterious girl's name was Erin Mitchell and she was lead singer in the Hogwart's choir. For some reason, Dominique had always thought the musical department had died with Professor Flitwick ages ago. No wonder the girl's face didn't ring a bell.

"I know, I know," Dominique answered, desperation evident on her face while she looked at him with knitted eyebrows. "But, Al, that's not all."

His eyes widened in panic. "What do you mean, that's not all? How much worse can it get? Uncle Ron is going to _murder_ him. And then Malfoy Senior is going to murder Uncle Ron. And then Dad is going to avenge Uncle Ron. It'll be a never-ending cycle of kill or get killed!"

Being dramatic must be a Weasley thing, Dominique decided, opening and closing her mouth multiple times like a fish trying to breathe on land.

"I don't think that will happen," she finally says.

Then, thinking about it, she added, "But I'm pretty sure if anyone's going to die, it's me."

That seemed to shake Albus out of his thoughts of endless genocide.

"What? Why?"

Swallowing a few times, Dominique's eyes shifted from the Forbidden Forest, calm despite the monsters hidden in its midst, to the vast green that surrounded Hogwarts. Flowers were blossoming everywhere and there, under the big oak tree near the Black Lake, you could see the silhouette of a couple. Scorpius and Rose met there every 23rd of the month. Had met there every 23rd of the month for almost two years, ever since that one 23rd of the month where they'd gotten together. It was romantic, cheesily so, and Dominique felt a sudden ache in her chest.

This time, she didn't think about herself, hadn't actually since the stupid mistake she'd made yesterday. This time, she thought about Rose. Rose, who was so hopelessly in love and whose feelings were genuine. Rose, who she had envied since she was a young child, because her cousin seemed to be the personification of her name; beautiful and loved by all with a quick mind that even put her mother to shame. Rose, who still was her best friend even though Dominique would have given everything to be with Scorpius.

"I'll break her heart," she said suddenly and she couldn't breathe properly, because yes, Scorpius had cheated on her.

But Dominique had betrayed her even more.

"Dom, speak to me, what in Merlin's name is going on? What did you do?"

"I called Witch Weekly."

* * *

First came the newspaper, then the accusing eyes and finally the screams. Dominique knew she deserved them all.

"HOW COULD YOU! HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"

To tell the truth, she'd expected Rose to jump her right in the Great Hall. Instead, her cousin had come up to the Gryffindor table and asked her to go outside with her. Outside, outside. Away from all the bystanders that were already eager to see the fight. The story of Scorpius Malfoy, son of an Ex-Death Eater, cheating on Rose Weasley, daughter of a war hero and niece of the Man-Who-Defeated-You-Know-Who, had made it on the first page. Right under the headline ("MALFOY CHEATS ON WEASLEY: START OF A FAMILY FEUD?") was a little line dedicated all to her: _Dominique Weasley, cousin of poor Rose Weasley, witnessed it all._

Maybe she should have stayed an anonymous source. That could have given her a few days to stay low and sort this out. But as Albus had correctly commented, she'd dug her own grave so she'd damn better lay in it.

"I don't know, I seriously don't, I just … I saw him with her and all I could think about was getting revenge –"

It was a stupid argument, she knew that, but she had to try. Had to make this right somehow.

"Getting revenge? Why would you think about getting revenge? News flash, Dom, that's my job! He cheated on _me_!"

"I know! I know that, I just … He didn't even try to talk to me about it, Rose, he just picked up my books and acted as if it was nothing. As if he didn't have her lipstick all over him and as if his shirt –"

"Please," Rose whispered, lips pressed into a white line as tears threatened to spill over. "Please, spare me the details."

Dominique felt all words die on the tip of her tongue and when she swallowed all she tasted was bitter betrayal.

"I'm in love with him."

There. She said it. It was out. Her deep dark secret. The reason why she might not have only wanted to hurt and ruin Scorpius, but also Rose.

For a moment, silence filled the air. Like a thick wall it stood between them.

"What?!"

Rose's incredulous laughter felt like daggers piercing her.

"Are you being serious?" Rose asked. "I mean, I suspected, but I'd never … I'd never actually thought you could …"

"Fall in love with Scorpius?"

"No," she spat. "_Think_ that you were in love."

Now it was Dominique's turn to look at her cousin incredulously.

"You think I only _think_ I'm in love?!"

"No, I _know_ it. You've always been jealous of me, Dom, always. Remember that Christmas when we were five? When I got a doll and you got a teddy? You never had a doll and you were so jealous you ripped off the head of mine, so I couldn't have it either! Or our Sorting? When I got into Ravenclaw and you into Gryffindor, even though you always thought you were the smarter one? You didn't talk to me at all during first year and it hurt so badly to lose my best friend, my cousin! And then I had Scorpius and you were never in love and you couldn't stand it. Couldn't stand that I was experiencing something you didn't. Merlin, before I told you that we were dating you didn't even know his first name!"

Rose was out of breath, face flushed and eyes full of fury but also a deep sadness, as if she'd expected something like this would happen sooner or less. With every word she said, Dominique felt as if she was being picked apart. Memory after memory attacked her and she wanted to be angry and lash out in return, because that wasn't fair, she'd been a child back then!

"That's what you do, Dom, you take what you don't have and don't worry your pretty little head about the consequences. You take what you want without looking back, so I'm going to do the same."

It was the last straw. There was no ground under her feet, no air to breathe. She felt as if she was drowning and still, she couldn't bring herself to cry.

Instead she whispered, "I'm sorry, dear Merlin, trust me, I'm sorry", again and again until she wasn't sure if Rose could even understand her anymore.

Her cousin didn't even look at her anymore. She kept wiping at her tear-stained face, hands shaking just as much as her voice.

"Sometimes sorry just isn't enough."

Dominique didn't know that five words could break your heart. But they can.

* * *

Shit happens. It's a universal rule. Call it karma, coincidence, plain ol' bad luck – somehow things always have a way of ending up exactly how you never wanted them to end. That sucks. But you know, _c'est la vie_. In the end, there's really nothing you can do about it. You just have to lean back and accept that life can kick you in the balls (or ovaries) whenever it damn well pleases.

Dominique had always been great at fooling herself. After all, she'd tricked herself into believing she was in love, into believing that she didn't care that half her family wouldn't speak to her anymore, and into believing that there was nothing she could do to change the situation.

She could have probably done a lot of things to try and make things right again, but she was a Weasley and that meant that she would always choose the unconventional one. Like stealing the only remaining time turner from the National Museum of Magical Artifacts.

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this little one-shot and please review! It's the love that keeps me going :) Also, if anyone's interested in being my beta, that would be awesome!**


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